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How to masturbate for better orgasms, because you totally deserve it / Bustle

Kudos to Bustle for bringing up the often not discussed topic of masturbation– and giving some tips on how to have the best orgasms that you can! We at are unsurprisingly all about knowing how to get yourself off– and we think that masturbation is just as much #realworldsex as any other kind! Check out our #metime tag on to see for yourself!

Written by Aly Walansky for Bustle. Originally published in April, 2015.



“Self-pleasure is a wonderful, wonderful thing. Whether you have a partner or not, spending some time enjoying yourself has tons of benefits. Not only does masturbation make you feel good and help relieve stress, but it also can get you in touch with the pleasure zones in your body — and lead to way more pleasurable sex with a partner. But even if we do it regularly, we can all learn how to masturbate better. Trying new things is a big part of getting to know and love your body.

A lot of great solo time tricks will parallel what you may do with a partner — this includes giving your fantasies a whirl. For instance, Astroglide’s Resident Sexologist, Dr. Jess, says to change up your positions just as you would with a partner. Masturbation doesn’t have to be in bed or in front of a porn movie, it can be standing, lying on your stomach, curled up on your side or hanging off the side of the bed. “You’ll find that the varied angles and pressure against different parts of your body create different sensations and you might discover new pathways to orgasm,” says Dr. Jess.

Let your mind wander, says Dr. Jess. Fantasies don’t have to be about sex, per se. In fact, maybe you’ll fantasize about seduction scenes or the way a partner responds to your body as opposed to the physical contact itself. In the zone? Here’s some more tips from pros on how to make it the best self-date ever.

Make it a special occasion

Although you could use masturbation to be the quick and efficient way of getting off, the truth is that banging it out in a minute-and-a-half doesn’t create as much wonderful pleasure-inducing chemicals as a longer build-up of arousal and release. “In my book Wanting to Want: What Kills Your Sex Life and How to Keep It Alive, I encourage people to make space for the erotic in their lives – both physically and mentally. This means creating not just the space and the place, but also the sexy frame of mind that is the biggest fuel for sexual arousal,” says Dr. Madeleine Castellanos, who practices sex therapy in New York. Making it an event for yourself also teaches your brain to become excited when it sees those cues – candles, sheets, favorite lube.

As for creating the space: If you can’t relax, it’s tough to masturbate. So be sure you won’t be interrupted (unless getting caught or the prospect of getting caught turns you on!), says Jenny Block, author of O Wow: Discovering Your Ultimate Orgasm. Don’t be shy. We’re talking about self-love here. So light candles. Play music. Or don’t.  If it rocks your boat, do it. If not, forget it.

Invite your fantasies

Engage your rich fantasy life by thinking exciting thoughts and visualizing erotic pictures while you are with your lover but keep those thoughts private, says Dr. Fran Walfish, Beverly Hills family and relationship psychotherapist, author of The Self-Aware Parent, and co-starring on Sex Box on WE tv .


The more oxygen we take in, the more our blood is oxygenated and the more we move energy through our bodies, says Dawn Serra, an erotic coach. Often times we hold our breath as things start to get intense, but if we breathe we can actually expand our awareness and increase the intensity of our pleasure.





Click over to Bustle for even more self-love tips! If you ever want to share your #metime with, we’d absolutely love it! Email us at!

2 Responses to “How to masturbate for better orgasms, because you totally deserve it / Bustle”

  1. Bill

    so true Doris way to keep yourself in sensual shape for your lover and relieve stress…… wonderful once in awhile to masturbate each other………your lovers touch shows you sensual spots you never knew of or forgot


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