At MLNP.tv, we believe #realworldsex is the hottest sex there is and that the key to a mutually satisfying sex life is to TALK ABOUT IT! What’s more, we think things like having hair down there and using condoms can be majorly hot, not to mention totally normal, parts of #realworldsex. If you find one of your partners thinks otherwise, it’s at least time to have a healthy chat about it. xo Madam Curator
Written by Rachel Sanoff for Bustle. Originally published on June 16th, 2015.
“Your sex life with your partner can provide a lot of insight into the healthiness of your relationship. Specifically, whether or not you have a supportive partner who is interested in your pleasure. Your partner’s treatment toward you during physical intimacy can reveal a lot about their emotional maturity and, frankly, whether they deserve even a minute of your time. If your partner says certain things in bed over and over, like he doesn’t want to use condoms, then it might be time for you to end the relationship. Comments that pick apart your body, shame you for expressing your desires, or reveal your partner’s lack of interest in your comfort and orgasm represent your partner’s selfishness, immaturity, and inability to provide you with happiness and fulfillment. Do not take their obnoxious remarks lightly.
In the most recent issue of Cosmopolitan, Nicki Minaj discussed the importance of the reciprocity of pleasure for women in the bedroom, or orgasm equality. Those interview comments were so exciting because the media is usually saturated with images of sex that consider female pleasure and safety to be secondary to male ejaculation. The media is also saturated with images that advocate for only one impossible type of feminine beauty. And your sex life has no room for a partner’s selfishness or patriarchal beauty standards.
Sex requires vulnerability and trust, so pay attention to what your partner says and how it makes you feel. If your partner says any of these seven things in the bedroom, it might be time for you to shut it down:
1. “But it feels better without a condom.”
2. “Uh, I don’t really like it if it has hair.”
Brazilian bikini waxes are awesome if that’s what you want to do with your body. Waxes can also be a fun, exciting change of pace for you and your partner, and I’m not advocating to shame your partner any time they express a preference. WITH THAT BEING SAID, if your partner actually turns you away or considers you unattractive simply because you are an adult who has experienced puberty, please leave their ass. Since they seem to be more interested in hypersexualized images from PornHub clips rather than diverse real world bodies anyway, then they can go have fun with that by themselves. YOU can go find someone who respects your choices, treats you like a queen, and is grateful to even see you naked at all.Also, while safely done Brazilian bikini waxes are great for those who want them, if done wrong they can be super unsanitary and cause infection. Not to mention, they can be kinda pricey. So if you’re feeling pressured, until your partner coughs up money or risks infection monthly, how ‘bout they just shut up and thank the Lord above for having ever seen a vulva up close.”
Click here to read some more bedroom deal-breakers!